Friday, September 4, 2015

Introversia

No one believes me when I say I'm an introvert. I don't like most people I meet & am convinced that most people who meet me must not like me either. I have to make a conscious effort to show up for social engagements. I have to prepare myself for social interactions & feel incredibly surprised when people invite me to or involve me in events.

I try not to let the world see this side because my job requires me to be more than I am. There is so much to be done & standing by isn't part of the job description. It is a good indication of how much I love my job that I push through all my psychoses for it.

There are also just a handful of people who truly know this side of me and thankfully most of them don't judge me for it. However, some just don't understand. My parents, for example, don't understand my need to shun society. They don't get why I can't be like other girls who love family events and dressing up for said events.

On the other edge of this is my need to not completely be cut off from society. To that end, I will organise events with people I like and hope and pray that they will want to come. And then they do and all is good in the world. I have made some amazing friends as I've grown older and more comfortable with myself.

These friends have had varied lessons to teach me; some have shown me how to like myself while others have shown me that it's ok if everyone doesn't like me back. Yet others have shown me the importance of having values and passion while some others have helped me see the value of being single.

Having said that, now I feel that I'm getting to really like myself and understand what I want out of life. And I think the next step is to find someone who can hold on to me and make me want to let go of everything else. At least for a while.

6 comments:

  1. Having known you for so long, I may be one of those few who understand the introversia :)
    You know, you've always been very likeable - contrary to what you believe. You really don't even need to put in that effort :)
    The only effort needed is towards ensuring you are more regular with your blog posts !!!!
    Such a sweet, honest and slice of life kinda blog post ! Loved it!

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  2. try to post some blog in hindi / urdu language as well.

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  3. I think a lot of people don't truly understand what an introvert is. They typically think we're shy and standoffish, but really it's about how most of our energy is inward so social events tend to drain us out. A lot of people don't believe I'm an introvert, but I am. I did a personality test not too long ago and it said I'm an extroverted introvert. I can come across as energetic and outgoing, but being around too many people tires me out. I much rather stay at home watch a movie or read. When I was younger, I barely spoke and now as I've gotten older I've learnt to speak up for myself and share my opinions. Life is a classroom and there's ongoing lessons.

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  4. I agree with Smita. You have always always been likeable :))

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  5. I agree with Smita. You have always always been likeable :))

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