Saturday, July 25, 2015

Who are you?

People only see sides of us, 5 different people will see 5 different people in you. This is determined by either what they recognise of themselves in you or by how you have treated them. I am fascinated by the people we can be, the people we are and the degrees of separation between the two.

So who are you? How do you want to be seen? What's the story people make up when they see you walk by? Do you have a story you made up about someone? The girl sitting by the phone hoping for a message that never comes? She may seem desperate or maybe she's just addicted to her phone. The boy so hurt by the past that he shuns love completely? Is that the story you've given the chronic bachelor who's just busy living his drama-free life?

I love people watching... giving people back stories, giving them names, character profiles, reasons of behaviour. I'm convinced this is a normal activity that people do. If it isn't, just humour me here please. And that's why I wonder what impression do I give the world? What do you see when you see me? Do you see the pain of my past or the smile my present brings to my heart? Do you see my flashes of loneliness or do I give off a sense of happy singledom? Who am I to you? What am I to you?

But then comes the question of the people we can be. Can we truly change? Marriages around the world end because people get married to the version of their spouse they envision in their heads - whether that version exists or not. I don't think people can fundamentally change at all. At the most they can perhaps modify their behaviour; especially with a little Pavlovian conditioning. (It's a wonder what a bribe can achieve in relationships!)

I try to see the best in people, it works for about 5 minutes and then it all depends on how they've treated me. Being non-judgemental is the hardest, especially since I had a very sheltered upbringing that didn't really prepare me for the real world. So the emotional baggage I carry colours my perception of people. Dubai can force you to see the world differently, especially if you let the world in by making friends from everywhere - from Yemen to Australia.

That girl I see looking out the window? She's just came from Tanzania where she stays with her second-generation immigrant parents. She's got a job with a hotel consultancy and will be travelling around Africa as a part of her job. Now it's turn, who do you see? Make me a story... I'm waiting

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