Who are you?

People only see sides of us, 5 different people will see 5 different people in you. This is determined by either what they recognise of themselves in you or by how you have treated them. I am fascinated by the people we can be, the people we are and the degrees of separation between the two.

So who are you? How do you want to be seen? What's the story people make up when they see you walk by? Do you have a story you made up about someone? The girl sitting by the phone hoping for a message that never comes? She may seem desperate or maybe she's just addicted to her phone. The boy so hurt by the past that he shuns love completely? Is that the story you've given the chronic bachelor who's just busy living his drama-free life?

I love people watching... giving people back stories, giving them names, character profiles, reasons of behaviour. I'm convinced this is a normal activity that people do. If it isn't, just humour me here please. And that's why I wonder what impression do I give the world? What do you see when you see me? Do you see the pain of my past or the smile my present brings to my heart? Do you see my flashes of loneliness or do I give off a sense of happy singledom? Who am I to you? What am I to you?

But then comes the question of the people we can be. Can we truly change? Marriages around the world end because people get married to the version of their spouse they envision in their heads - whether that version exists or not. I don't think people can fundamentally change at all. At the most they can perhaps modify their behaviour; especially with a little Pavlovian conditioning. (It's a wonder what a bribe can achieve in relationships!)

I try to see the best in people, it works for about 5 minutes and then it all depends on how they've treated me. Being non-judgemental is the hardest, especially since I had a very sheltered upbringing that didn't really prepare me for the real world. So the emotional baggage I carry colours my perception of people. Dubai can force you to see the world differently, especially if you let the world in by making friends from everywhere - from Yemen to Australia.

That girl I see looking out the window? She's just came from Tanzania where she stays with her second-generation immigrant parents. She's got a job with a hotel consultancy and will be travelling around Africa as a part of her job. Now it's turn, who do you see? Make me a story... I'm waiting

Words in Motion

I went to the litfest last year and was surrounded by authors. They all have stories they want to tell. So many of them know what they want to write next and the ones that will come after. I wonder that's how I know I am not going to a good writer, or is that just another excuse I've found to not be all that I can be.

I like so many different kinds of writing, but I think the trait I admire most is the ability to weave a story. Being able to construct a story about fictional strangers that makes real strangers feel like you know their hearts. I tried writing a story once but got lost in the myriad ways I could treat my character. What would I have her do? What anguish would I make her go through?

I could base the heroine on me but how much? There are many small stories in my history, things that only I know, scars I have given & received -- would they make for an interesting yarn? There are small infinities in my life I haven't yet gone back to, they are just there, in the background, waiting for me to call on them and bring them back to life. But these infinities bring with them the pain of ghosts past, the mistakes I've made, the persons I was trying to be by lying to myself. So maybe they're better off where they are.

Then I could base the heroine in a situation I research about, bring a world to life in the only way I can. But then I have read so much, I keep fearing that I can never be good enough to write the way I would like to. More & more of the books I read lately are books that are derivative and want me to put a lot of work in to follow a story & I'm just not intelligent for that.

All I want to do is write a simple story that is all me & there is a part of me that wouldn't mind it if no one read it (somewhat like this blog). Which brings me back to the crux of this post, what would make for a good story? They say you should write what you know -- that cuts out so many genres or maybe I'm just making excuses for not being creative enough.

Maybe I maxed out my creativity making up the very many lies I told incessantly as a kid. Do liars grow up to be fiction writers? Or are fiction-writers just liars who are being paid for lying?

Do I make you smile?

I see you stopping by. Stay a while, won't you?

What is a storyteller without someone to tell the stories to? I want to make you smile, that kind of smile that bursts across your face when you have a mental A-HA. When you hear something that's so very you that every part of your self identifies with it. All storytellers want to captivate you in, bring you into their parlours, but I want more, I want you to stay a while. Won't you?

Ben Okri once told me, "Once you take away all the fillers, what remains in your writing is your voice." (if you can start off your writing with a Ben Okri quotation, you cannot go wrong. All you have to do after that is hope people read it in a James Earl Jones voice.)

I don't know if my writing has a voice; but I know I have something to say. I have a few war stories of my own, though I usually like to hide them. I'm an introvert at the best of times but more often than not, I'm the most social in a conversation where people are trading experiences. It's simple. I'll show you mine if you show me yours, our stories are our currency. They are the measure of our worth. Most of my closest friends are the ones who inspire me with the rich and varied lives they lead.

Stories are entertainment for those who have longer attention spans than 140 characters. Stories are for those who have a curiosity for the world. There is so much to absorb out there, no one person can do it all. That's why we have books and that's why a storyteller's job is never done. We all want to write our books, have someone play us in a movie. We all want our story told & there are so many stories that deserve to be told.

You cannot sell anything without telling its story. The whole world of business is based on that premise. Everyone needs a human connection, between people, between products, however diluted it may be. There is a reason why everybody checks out reviews before trying out a movie or play or restaurant or even a book. This is why people want to be famous, all they want is to be seen, to be heard, for their stories to be told.

Hear my story. I want you to stay a while. Won't you?