Thursday, July 21, 2016

Perceptions and its follies

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that one man's trash is another's treasure. If this could be the loudest sentence you've ever read and this right after could be the quietest, then can we confirm that we all live in a prison of our own making?

We all have our own realities - facts that we know to be as true as the sun. Many of those realities are often based on other realities or what we would like to think of as realities. Like creationism and evolution - much debated though one is the scientific truth and the other mere religion.

I live in my own reality, one in which I play just a part. I am a performer that is putting on a show and acting like I think people want me to act. But apparently I do such a good job that nobody believes me when I tell them I'm an introvert who is most comfortable when alone.

So what's really real? Am I what I perceive or the impression others have of me? I'm sure others have the same problem and in some cases it may even be amplified. At least I don't have a third choice, that version of me that is expected of me.

I've tried my hardest to not have people around me who expected me to behave a certain way. I was spoilt by the fact that my parents let me get my way more often than not. And then an abusive relationship made me abhor being in situations where I wasn't in control. Now I live life on my own terms. I work as hard as I can and I make sure I don't have to ask anyone for permission for anything.

That's part of my reality. Just like my introversion and my occasional need to be social. So if you only see a part of the puzzle, do you even realise there is a puzzle at all? Your perception is your reality and none of us know more than we perceive. We may assume a lot or told about some more but linking it to the truth takes a lot of time. And time is always short in supply.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Something about Marina

Watching this documentary about Marina Abramovich. Have never been a big fan because I don't understand performance art, or even modern art at all. But it amazes me how she started with nothing but a vision, living for years in cars without knowing what lies ahead.

I may not understand her art but I respect that passion. There is something to be said for that naked resilience and actually going after what you want without being encumbered by laziness. I have often longed for that zeal in my life, which would help me conquer my laziness and help me do the things that I think will make my life what it needs to be.

But here I am accepting that this is all ill ever be and maybe that's okay. Maybe my limitations don't need to stop me from achieving what I need to. My dreams are far fetched but then so was the concept of a double passport to a girl whose father went without seeing his family for 2 years to save money.

She ended this documentary talking about how her funeral would have 3 coffins. Each would represent a part of her that she was ashamed of at some point in her life, her brashness and ambition, her spiritual side and her fashion and pop culture loving side. She went on to say that nobody would ever know which coffin would really have her body. I think that's fitting. We are all a composite of our parts.

There are parts of ourselves that we like and those we don't. We hide parts of ourselves from others as per convenience. Sometimes we hide from ourselves too. We keep hoping for change or a miracle. But according to Marina, true magic came from accepting all her sides. Nothing has been truer about us.

This acceptance of all our sides can maybe help us accept the differences in others. Where colour, race, gender and sexual identity isn't the reason we love or hate something. Where like and dislike is based on interests and behaviour, not ignorance and apathy and intolerance.

Just learn to accept that we are all parts of a whole, in so many ways. All of our parts make us who we are and all of us, in our differences sum up the whole of this world. What's to hate?